just stop

stop telling me other people have it worse. because you know what, I have it pretty damn bad. stop telling me I am going to get better because I won't. stop telling me who I have to fight for. I know, but it still doesn't stop the torture happening to my body daily. stop saying, "oh I have been there I know". no you haven't. until you've felt like you are constantly walking on a mixture of needles and shards of glass; that your entire spine has been lit on fire; you are achy all over; your neck feels like it's being stabbed with a very dull blade; and you want to rip your right arm off just to stop the pain going down it, then no you don't know how I feel. And that's on a good day. just because I smile does not mean that everything is going great and I want you to remind me how much I stand to lose if I don't do things. just stop trying to be so fucking pleasant when I am sitting here trying to not die with that fake smile plastered all over my face. stop telling me to fight when it takes all I have to just to wake up and get out of bed every day.